Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Thought while sitting on a a massive fallen tree...

...bent into a lake by a cemetary while my eyes overlooked the sun beams on the water and autumn leaves lining the shore.

"I've finally somewhat figured out why nature is so phenomenal to me and why it is so important in my relationship with God. Because I am an artist, art speaks deeper than conversation. When I don't really understand or "get" the depth of who somebody is, a piece of art, composition of music or even a lyric I don't fully comprehend will pierce my heart differently than a conversation. It's like a new perspective on who somebody is. I can't even put to words how I now know this person deeper but it's more of a heart to heart or spirit to spirit connection/revelation.

I don't always understand God (go figure eh?). Sometimes I really don't get Him. However, when I look at nature, I feel an understanding of His heart, His love expressed in art. It's impossible to describe or illustrate, but I know Him more. I'm not saying that I have forsaken conversing with God; I talk to Him more than anybody. But sometimes.... words just don't cut it. They don't work. And here (nautre) is an expression void of words that goes past the power of words and into an inexpressible place in my heart."

Saint John to Waterville

After a stressful drive from Quispamsis to Saint John (doing my usual worrying such as "what if they don't have room on the bus"? etc etc), I boarded the bus and was on my way. By the time we got off the harbour bridge I was motion sick (go figure haha). So I was unable to read or do anything of the sort. Our first stop was in Saint George. This is what I wrote in my journal.
Saint George: I saw a country-looking quilt hanging out to dry and a bluegrass festival advertisement.

A girl about my age got off and met a woman who looked about 40-50. The girl seemed relieved when the lady met her with a welcoming smile. they didn't hug which made me think they're not relatives. I wonder if the girl is a foster child. If so, I hope this home turns out perfectly for her. She seemed a little bit shy.

So the bus went on and I got my laptop out. However it wasn't out very long before I nearly ran to the bathroom at the back of the bus to hurl. Thankfully, just as that feeling was hitting me we stopped in Saint Stephen and I was able to get a breather. This is what I wrote after that stop
St Stephen: We stopped for 40 minutes at the Red Rooster restaurant. I used the washroom, bought a couple Christmas gifts and little Canadian trinket things for Jonah and Ian. Then I talked to a guy who looked in his 20s and said he was on his way to an island somewhere to live with his mom and her 4th husband. He's from northern New Brunswick and is moving to straighten out his life. (I wrote more about our conversation but for his sake - even tho I most likely will never meet him, I don't even know his name - I'm not going to give details about his family). I told him a bit about who I am and what my trip is all about.

Third Stop: the border...
Here they barely screened the old man and 3 older ladies on the bus. For me, however, after questioning me about who I am, who James Dickson is (he was picking me up) and who the Smiths are, they made me come inside.

There they interogated me again, searched through my carry on (laptop case/purse) and half searched my suitcases. The funniest part to me was when they asked me where I was born and, instead of saying "Saint John" I, in nervous chatter, said "Saint John, New Brunwick, Canada". Other than that tho, I didn't find it too hard to mask my nervousness. I acted pretty confidently. I'm just glad they let me keep my bazmati rice!

The trip between Calais and Bangor was pretty uneventful. I got to pee in a bus bathroom which was an experience in itself. For the last hour and a half I went to the back of the bus where there's 3 seats, plugged my comp, put some music on and curled up on the 2 other seats and watched the world go by upside down out of the bus window. I mainly saw sky, powerlines and treetops, but once I did see a white church steeple and, altho it flashed by within a second, it was a refreshing site to see.

So in Bangor Jamie picked me up. He took me to Best Buy and bought that ipod nano I've been waiting to get!!! The great part is that when I figured out how much tax is in Maine compared to New Brunswick and did the USD conversion (with Canadian dollar worth about 87 cents) I only spent 10 dollars more than I would have in Canada. BUT I got a 2 year warranty along with that which I would have had to pay extra for. So I scored!!!! God knew I could wait til I got down here lol.

Yep..... we then went to Bullmoose Music (I guess I got a true Maine Experience by going there. haha it just looked like Music World to me... but that's OK ). Jamie bought the new Me Without You CD. We had a great drive home catching up on the latest NB & Maine news. Of course we stopped at Starbucks and I'm very proud to say I drank a whole pomegranate frappucino WITHOUT spilling any on me! (or all over the floor HAHA sorry Jord).

Then we went to Grammy and Grampy Wrigley's house. I positively love them to death. Jamie helped me get itunes and such set up. Then me, Grammy, Grampy, Kathy and Paul (soon to be married!) all watched a teaching on bitterroots judgement. haha it was funny. They guy had crazy sideburns.

Ok.... so ya'll know nothing else on this trip will be quite so detailed but I do have a couple minutes to do this today. So yep.
love yas!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


OK.... so let's discuss the past 8 blogs I've posted. haha Pretty much what began as an excellent idea with potential to be powerful became mundane and annoying due to my slack approach.
The idea that began (if you read the first "There is a story....") was that I was going to tell a story. However before I relayed the plot I was going to introduce the characters (hence each "child" blog). After introducing these characters I was going to end the story with someting along the lines of

"These children are the story. Each of them have so much in their lives that goes unnoticed or unappreciated. They have diverse backgrounds, upbringings, home situations, giftings, and personalities and yet it is rare that they are truly known by anyone until they become older and independent. Let's understand that as children become known, not only will they feel loved and appreciated, but our lives will be impacted by these incredible people that we often overlook"
Anyhow.... as many "grown up" lives do, my life got busy and I became slack and dragged this process out FAR too long and didn't even write my entries well. It's kind of become silly to me but I felt like I had trapped myself into doing it. lol

So I deleted them out of my myspace posts... but since I got some neat comments here I'm going to keep them. haha but I do apologize for how it turned out.

I love you all

Child 8

This little boy is a sports superstar. The first thing that really stood out to me from this little character was his ability to run. He's short for his age but those stubby legs carried him double as fast as his peers. As many of his friends struggled with activities such as hitting a ball with a bat, this little boy caught on immediately. He nearly beat me in soccer one day.

He lives with his mom and his older half brother.

This boy eats with reckless abandon. Instead of taking a bite, chewing and taking another, he places his snack in his hands and chomps as he shoves more and more in his face. The only thing he eats cleanly, is fries. He places them in his mouth with care. Let's just say frie days are my favourite (no mess on his face or the floor).

I honestly have never met a child so clueless in my life (in the most hilarious way tho). For instance, telling him to put his shoes on is about a 10 minute job. I look him straight in the eyes and say "please put your shoes on", by the time he has the first untied, he is distracted by something. So again I attempt to get his attention.... "Please put your shoes on....". He gets one on, but not tied.... and again I say "PLEASE put your shoes on" (and so on and so forth). It was definitately frustrating at the time, but a good laugh to look back on.
This little boy has a huge smile... and he shows it often. He's a great kid............. definitely.

Child 7

The first weeks with this little boy were a confusing jumble of attempts at communication. He, having a little bit of what seemed to be a speach impediment and clearly used to quieter atmospheres was quite shy of talking and if unable to communicate during the first try, would give up completely.

Despite these first drawbacks, this child wiggled his way into the depths of my heart and will hold a place there forever. As we worked on communication together, oftentimes pulling to a quiet section of a room and taking our time as we spoke, his brilliant personality shone. As he became less overwhelmed with the crowds, I saw huge improvements in his independence and social maturity. He made me laugh in just about every activity with his outlook on things.
One regular occurence was his joy at wearing his empty lunchbag as a hat. Many days after lunch I would find the lunch bag on the table, call out his name and say "aren't you going to wear your hat today?". His heart gripping grin would appear and he'd grab it from my hands and dance around looking hilarious.

Something that this little boy hates is apologies. On occurences of bad behaviours it took a lot for him to say he was sorry. Even tho it was evident that he felt remorse, it was very difficult for him to have the humility to say it.

The very last day I saw him he came bounding up to me with his rather clumsy run and incredible grin asking me to open something for him. Knowing that I may not see that ever again, or perhaps for a long time, brought tears to my eyes. His genuine heart has grasped mine forever

Monday, September 11, 2006

Child #6

If there were such a thing, I would give the male behaviour award out to this little boy. Of course, as it is with all children, there were occasions that seemed out of character for him, and he made mistakes, but overall he has an excellent character.

He arrives approximatey at the same time as I do, with both parents and older sister. He's very proud to show his family activities he does throughout the day, and especially when he has made progress or learned something new.
In the mornings he is very attached to foozball. Every morning he goes directly to the table (often playing with his sister).

Thunder and lightening FASCINATES this little boy. I remember the morning he ran up to me WIDE eyed and gave me an account of the incredible storm I had slept through the night before. That's when I found out that he and I were a lot alike :)

Yep... he's a keeper.......... just like all of 'em!

Child #5

This one is a little man. He is very sensitive and his reactions most always come out in anger. If he is very exhausted sometimes results will entail tears as well. He is an only child with a single mom.

He could be considered a bully but he's clearly acting fro a behaviour that has been bestowed upon him (which is a trend in the majority of bullies anyway).

He loves bringing toys and other gadgets from home (which is strictly against the rules). They have caused disruptions and problems many times, but it is clear that he has an attachment to his possessions and shows great pride in what he owns.

He's put a smile on my face at least once a day with his energy and spunk. He's fiercly loyal to what he believes is right as well as to friends. I can imagine him growing up to be a man of his word, right to the very end.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Child #4

This one is my best behaved. I remember no occasions for disobedience. There have been approximately two occasions of misjudgement on her part in the whole time we've spent together. she is boisterous, cheerful and loves candy.

This little girl's love language is definitely touch. She could hang on my arm for hours, just content to hold my hand. Thankfully, I'm perfectly OK with it and am not a person to feel invaded by such affection.

For goodness sake this child can talk! Her stories never cease. Whether I'm sitting in complete silence or severely lecturing another child, her chatter swims around me. I like to listen but I must admit I've demanded silence on occasions.

Her favourite question that resonates through every activity is "Can I go to the canteen now?" And as much as the repetitive nature with the often repetitive answer of "no" annoys me, I know that soon enough I'll miss it.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Child #3

This third child is unbelievably hilarious. He can take any object, any situation and turn it into extreme sillies. He has huge brown eyes that swallow you up and his mischievous grin makes it almost impossible to put him in trouble. However, the sillies during a lecture can be rather disrespectful, so eventually he does need discipline.

This little boy puts up a tough front sometimes... but he's so soft. Physically he can take a lot and I'm not sure I've ever seen him cry from physical pain. However when it comes to emotions hurt, he can laugh off many things but we've definitely seen some passionate tears as well.

One of his most mischievous games is hiding. Any nook or cranny he can locate he folds himself into it and disappears. This trend of his has passed to other children, but it is clear that he's the leader of the hiding team. The huge smiles we discover when we find the children communicates that they are filled with joy at the fact that we had to do a little extra work to search for them. It almost makes the extra work worth it.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Child #2

This character is a little girl. She is quite intelligent and a quick learner. She reads very well and seems to have the most spatial and social awareness out of all the characters. She lives at home with her mom, a father figure and a little brother.

She is quite the girl: hurt very easily and is often moved to tears over what we as adults would call trivial. It is clear that she has mastered the art of crying when she is in need of attention or frustrated. Although it is not very difficult to discern the difference between true hurt and the unnecessary tears.

This little girl desperately wants a tan and often tries to refuse sunscreen. Although she is quite well-behaved and that fact typically overrules her will enough for her to abide by my enforcement of sunscreen wearing. Along with a desire for a tan comes a need to be well-kept. She likes cleanliness although, from time to time, being a kid just doesnât allow that and sheâs all right with itâ? most of the time.

This little girl is very joyous. She loves recognition and encouragement for a job well done. One of the biggest smiles I ever saw on her face was the day when she was part of a team that won a large soccer tournament. She loves victory.